


Who throws food? Babies!

by tinypeckers



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:15:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3660276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinypeckers/pseuds/tinypeckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(PROMPT) Michael starts a food fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who throws food? Babies!

**Author's Note:**

> APRIL FOOLS!
> 
> ... you get a fic! Just like every day, and the day after this one... and the next one... and boy, what have I got myself into?

It started with a fry. A poor, innocent, undercooked fry that rested upon Michael’s plate. He’d spotted it and his nose had crinkled in disgust. Their school was notorious for its awful cooking but this, for Michael, was the cherry on the top of the cake. It was Friday – which meant fries and burger day and Michael definitely did not sign up for this. Michael could see it trying to infiltrate the other fries’ nice, cooked mass and he picked it up between two fingers. Michael held in it in front of him like that oddly moist sock he’d once found in Jack’s bedroom (it was cold, that was Michael’s main concern at the time) and strangely enough, the fry felt rather similar to the sock.

“Ugh,” Michael complained as he held it, “this is disgusting – look at it.” Michael said to his his friends who had joined him at his table.

 

 

Geoff, who sat to Michael’s right, mirrored Michael’s expression of disgust and shied away from the fry as Michael brought it closer to him. Jack shook his head at Michael’s fussing and Ryan ignored everyone in favour of studying for the test he’d forgotten about. Ray started to laugh and Michael spared him an aggravated glance,

“What’s so funny?” Michael spat as he threatened to throw the fry Ray’s way.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… it looks like a limp dick.” Ray giggled.

“What dicks have you been looking at? Have you had your eyes closed when I’ve been over?” Geoff scoffed as Ray peeled into laughter.

“Yeah, Ray – seriously, if your dick looks like that, ew.” Michael said.

“You’ve seen my dick!” Ray protested.

“I don’t know, it could have changed – like, it could have got a disease and turned yellow!” Michael yelled back.

 

 

It was then that everyone remembered Gavin’s presence and of course, his over-sensitive gag reflex.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Geoff grinned as Jack kindly pat his boyfriend’s back.

“Gavin, it’s just a fry.” Michael said with a sarcastic sympathy.

“No it’s- it’s soggy Michael!” Gavin’s voice went up a few octaves at the end as Michael pushed the fry towards him. “A-And then you said it looked like a dick with,” a gag, “a disease or something.”

“Actually I mentioned it.” Ray said casually.

“Yeah but Michael made it worse.” Gavin whined as Jack pulled him into his chest as though to protect him from the harshness of the world (and his boyfriends).

“What? You’re not in to yellowing, rotting dick, Gavin?” Michael teased as Gavin covered his eyes with his hands. Geoff laughed from beside him.

“I thought Gavin was into all dick.” Geoff said.

 

 

“Guys, enough – you’re upsetting him.” Ryan sighed as he finally, finally looked up from that damn textbook and acknowledged his boys.

“Oh, look who finally joins us from the land of boring.” Ray muttered. Ryan only flipped him off.

“Some of us want to pass school. Now, Michael – please apologise to Gavin before he throws up on my textbook and fucks me over on my test.” Ryan said as though Gavin vomiting on anything would ruin his already slim chances of passing.

“All right, I’m sorry babe – that was mean of me.” Michael said sincerely and Geoff and Ray gave nods of agreement. Gavin removed his hands from his eyes and pried himself from a reluctant Jack’s grasp to smile at all three of them.

“Thanks guys.” Gavin replied. Michael was not done, however, and the fry hovered menacingly between them all.

 

 

Gavin screeched when the soggy, cold and undercooked fry came soaring towards him. He attempted to leap out from the bench and escape but his feet got tangled with Jack’s and he fell backwards instead. Jack caught him before Gavin could suffer any fatal injuries but the damage had been done. The fry rested upon his chest and Gavin hesitantly grabbed it and flicked it away.

“That was rude.” Jack scolded as he pulled Gavin close once more, determined to make sure Gavin didn’t hurt himself or the others hurt him again.

“Michael, you absolute bollocking pleb.” Gavin cursed as he reached for his food. It had gone cold as he’d long since abandoned it after Michael, Ray and Geoff’s conversation. He scooped up some mash potato with the plastic spoon the school had so generously provided and casually flicked it at Michael. The older boy sat in shock as the potato clung to his hair, his nose and dropped onto his shirt.

 

 

That was it, really. It was all over in a split second as all of Michael’s good fries were flipped over and onto both Jack and Gavin. Geoff, despite being free from all the chaos, joined in when he threw the pudding cup he’d been saving all over Ray. Ray was never one to back down from a challenge either and the half eaten sandwich the yoghurt had covered was promptly thrown into the mess they’d created. The fight sparked a rebellion amongst the other students. They ignored the shrill, demanding cries of both the lunch ladies and the supervising students. Food, drinks, bags and all sorts were chucked into the air as everyone called all out war upon one another. Ray was smart, of course he was, and used both Jack and Gavin as his shields. Jack refused to join in and instead tried to hold Gavin back. The Brit was getting dangerously close to leaping the table and wrestling his boy in a mess of soda and sweets. Geoff and Michael were trying to get him as a duo, teaming up on Gavin as he got protected. Ryan had given in and joined only because he couldn’t study in such chaos. His throws were precise, hard and they hurt.

 

 

It only ended when they called the principal. Even then she stood there for a few minutes before everyone finally stopped. There was nothing she could do past that – expelling the whole school would be ridiculous and so she merely sighed and told them all that enough was enough and they were to clean it up immediately. Gavin, Michael, Ray, Geoff and Jack shared secret smirks that held both apologies and satisfaction at the devastation they’d caused to one another. The beginnings of Jack’s facial hair was smeared with pudding, or something moist and sticky. Ray’s glasses were littered with fires. Geoff’s shirt was soaked with ketchup. Michael’s hair fizzed with soda. Gavin’s nose dripped with mash potato. Ryan, well, his text book was ruined.

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself as he tried to read the smeared words, “I’m going to fail.”


End file.
